


And now we begin again

by ILoveMisha2



Series: The end [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5x04, Angst, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, Smoking, The Apocalypse, The End
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 12:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5707114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILoveMisha2/pseuds/ILoveMisha2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" you know I'd follow you anywhere right? And if this is the way you want to do it, as crazy as hell as it seems then I'm on board no matter what, one hundred percent. I won't let you down. At least we'll be together every step of the way, side by side."</p>
            </blockquote>





	And now we begin again

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd all mistakes are mine
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own this characters nor to I make money off this fic.

"Cas, are you listening or are you trying to tune into that angel radio of yours?"  
Castiel rolled his eyes and pushed off dean's shoulder to get up off the bed. He swung his legs over the side and sat there.

"You know as well as I do that 'angel radio' doesn't fucking exist anymore, don't be an asshole."

Dean laughed and sprawled his hand out on cas' back, resting it there, feeling cas' muscles tense up.

"Easy tiger, I just forgot for a moment is all. Is that what you were doing though?"

Cas reached for his jeans and T-shirt. He didn't like the topic of angels anymore, didn't really like when Dean brought it up.

" no, dean. I wasn't. What I was doing was thinking about how lame of a lay you were. I'm thinking I might have to organize one of those Orgys again."

Dean pulled his hand back and slapped cas on the arm and sat up, a smirk on his face.

" yeah right, best damn lay you've ever got. Hand me my boots will ya?"

"Just your boots? What about your pants huh? You just gonna go educate the whole damn camp?"

"No need because your stupid ass already has. Just hand me all my shit smart ass."

"Okay okay, oh fearless leader."

"Shut up, you know maybe if you weren't such a smart ass it'd be easier to be around you?"

Cas handed dean his stuff and made his way to the window opening his small tin pack of clove cigarettes and lighting one. Maybe Dean was right about him being a smartass, but it really didn't matter because that's all he could do to cope and Dean calling him out was all Dean could do to cope.

He felt arms snake around him and a head rest on his shoulder . it felt so warm to him, almost like the apocalypse wasn't happening and they were some normal people on a normal day looking at the morning sun or waiting for their child to get off the bus.

The feeling only lasted the amount of time Cas let it, it was starting to hurt with the reality of the situation, of things to come. They were never going to get that life and Cas knew that all too well.

"What are you thinking about now, Cas?"

"Reality. I hate it."

"Hmmm, me too."

" not much we can do about it."

"That's why we're here, right? Because this is all we can do."

"I suppose so, although I could be smoking something other than a cigarette right now."

" and I could be out killing something right now that deserves killing but I'm not."

"I'm tired of this place, I feel like it's eating me alive."

"I think you're just coming down and getting all soul searchy again."

" how long do we have?"

Dean stilled around Cas, he didn't want to talk about it. He talked this plan over with Cas about a thousand times and now that the date was getting closer it was harder to hide. 

They were going to kill Lucifer and he was going to sacrifice Cas. His Cas, who he'd kill for but this job was bigger than Cas or his feelings for the once celestial being. This job was bigger than all of it, it was what signified if the world lived or died. Cas understood that but from his understanding him and Dean were going to face Lucifer together. 

"Cas, please. Let's just have a nice morning, does that sound doable? One nice damn morning of us bickering like a married couple?"

" I - no it doesn't, Dean. This is something that's important. This is the world we're talking about."

Cas shrugged out of Dean's hold and sat on the bed again, cigarette forgotten between nimble fingers. Dean leaned back against the windowSill ready for shit to hit the fan.

"Dammit Cas, why can't we worry about it later? Why can't we just think about us, while we still can?"

" I am thinking about us! Do you honestly think either one of us is gonna live through what's gonna happen? Do you honestly think we can beat my brother!?"

" I do. If we win but don't live through it then so fucking what? The world gets to go on and we get some damn rest. I call it a win win."

" Dean, I'm saying what if we just lose? What if that happens? Those people out there that you've done your damndest to protect will have to go on without guidance, they will all be slaughtered. . . . if we win but die they still won't have guidance and at some point they'll slaughter each other! I know how humans work."

" you're talking out of your ass okay? We can't predict what happens and if we don't attempt to kill Lucifer we're gonna be stuck like this and die anyway. Either way we win some we lose some but my way will give our camp a better chance of survival. And don't forget, you're human now too so don't act like you were so pre-knowledgeable, you've had five years to think 'human' for yourself."

" fine, okay but for the record I am not 'talking out of my ass', I am simply thinking strategically, ya'know, in the way I've had five years to think in. I'm not goddamn stupid."

"Fuck you, neither am i- listen, I'm doing my best. I have thought of all these things you're saying and you have a point but it's not worth the risk. Killing Lucifer is priority. I have to kill him."

Cas wiped his face with his hand and let out a gust of breath. Dean just watched him, hoping this stupid thing was resolved for the time being, so he didn't have to think about how he was gonna sacrifice not just some of the camp members but Cas as well.

" okay, well you can sit here and strategize all you fucking want, I'm going to go back to my cabin and hell, I don't know to smoke and shit. Come get me when you're done being a self-righteous dick."

"Cas . . ."

Dean couldn't get out the words. He couldn't say he was sorry, he couldn't admit to Cas that he had fucked up and would continue to do so. He owed Castiel more than a 'sorry' but it wouldn't come out, just Cas' name flat and unemotional. The way it was never meant to sound but seemed to always. Cas just gave Dean a side glance as he got up to leave Dean's cabin but Dean grabbed him by the arm, spinning him around.

"C'mon, Cas, please? See, I told you I didn't want to talk about it. I don't want you to go back to your stupid cabin and smoke. Dammit Cas, I just wanted to have one day that I could pretend was halfway okay. I don't want you leaving my cabin hating me."

"I don't . . . I don't hate you."

"Just, calm down, yeah? "

Castiel looked down, shifting where he stood. Soon he sighed and looked up, with unsure crystal blue eyes.

" you know I'd follow you anywhere right? And if this is the way you want to do it, as crazy as hell as it seems then I'm on board no matter what, one hundred percent. I won't let you down. At least we'll be together every step of the way, side by side."

"Ye-yeah, of course, side by side."

Dean did his best to smile and hug Cas as easily as he could. Cas smiled back at him, burrowing his face down in the crease of Dean's neck.

"You ass." 

" I love you too, Cas."

Dean was about to let his world with Cas crash and burn but to be fair it wasn't much, not enough to make a fuss over. Especially if you were Dean who wasn't so much who he used to be and you had been years too late and only got a part of Cas that was never supposed to see the light. This wasn't living and he was doing what he was doing regardless of morals or the way he would've done things years ago.

What mattered was that Lucifer was stopped. 

Cas would understand, Cas would forgive him, he would.

He had to, and if anything, at least Lucifer would kill him for his sins.


End file.
